NBA Academy Award Show
We roll out the red carpet for Golden State, DeMarcus Cousins, Sam Hinkie and Jeremy Lin’s hair. It’s the first ever Brickhouse Awards Show! Plus Bob compares real Oscar movies to NBA teams and teases his friend by waiting to see Star Wars.
The season’s over and the Warriors won convincingly. That means it’s back to the drawing board for the rest of the NBA’s teams. Inspired by the leaked photo of the Orlando Magic whiteboard from last year, we tell you the bullet-point plans of a handful of the league’s most interesting teams. We break them down into categories: Contenders, Pretenders and the Don’t You Remembers??? Strategies from everyone from the Celtics to the Kings. Plus, we take a peak at Bryan Colangelo’s plans and give you the live odds on his divorce. While the Finals may have been boring, the offseason should be filled with drama. In our case it’ll also be filled with jokes.
We interrupt the NBA Finals previews to discuss the most ridiculous NBA story of the season. Who are the suspects? Could Sam Hinkie be involved? Have we ruled out Lavar Ball? First there was the NCAA FBI scandal, then there was the five fake Twitter accounts Bryan Colangelo story. Though no arrests were made there’s been quite a few collars! We break down the most damning evidence, list the fireable offenses and read aloud the funniest tweets. At the very end we play a skit from our 2016 team previews, a Christmas Carol with Colangelo and Hinkie, sort of.
The Warriors and Cavs are back in the finals for the fourth straight year (Scott Foster made sure of that!) We detail the ref’s record in games with the Rockets and his history with Tim Donaghy. After calming down, a new segment: Final/Not Final where we discuss everything from Avengers movies to the Fat Lady. Is this LeBron’s final season with Dan Gilbert? Will there ever be a sequel to Annihilation? Was this seriously not the final season of Doc Rivers and the Clippers? Plus we give the entire list of foods Lonzo Ball thinks are “lit” and “not nasty.” Matt attempts his own Game of Thrones references and Bob tell Rockets fans about something called a “cry closet.” The Rockets 27 consecutive missed threes were NOT the reason they lost. It was the refs I tell you! The refs!
All it takes is one social media follow or unfollow for NBA fans to lose their minds. Speculation runs rampant when a reporter says on a podcast that Karl-Anthony Towns could POSSIBLY be traded. You bet we take the speculation ball and run with it. The Suns and Kings are playing checkers about not drafting Luka Doncic (in a league where everyone else is playing chess). Both teams are saying they want a center when the Suns just hired Luka’s old coach and everyone knows Vlade Divac can’t resist building the first NBA team built entirely of eastern Europeans. Plus Steph Curry’s potty-mouth and the Cavs and Rockets battle to win this week’s ‘Diss of the Week.’
Forget X’s and O’s we’re comparing Mike D’Antoni’s accent versus Steve Kerr’s. Maybe the most important discovery of the playoffs is Clint Capela’s Chinese nickname: “Pancake Emperor”. We prepare listeners for the biggest storylines of the conference finals from Klay Thompson’s unprecedented pay-cut, to the relentless media proliferation of the rebranded Warriors death lineup, the ‘Hamptons 5’. And if you haven’t yet heard the one about Ice Cube, the Big 3, Steve Bannon and a Qatari secret agent you should tune in immediately.
We love the NBA for the drama. The right matchups means more viewers means more money. What would the league be willing to do to make sure the Warriors and Rockets meet in the west finals? Who would they want out east and why? Hear us break down every narrative and every angle. There’s no limit to the made-up joke-stakes on this show. Plus hear our suggestions for the first eight teams knocked out of the playoffs. Thunder fans can now light themselves on fire.
They say the playoffs are the time when teams exploit their opponent’s weaknesses. For us it’s a time to make jokes about those same shortcomings. Blog Boys represent! We rank ever team in the playoffs from 16-1 starting with the already eliminated Blazers. I guess Portland decided they no longer like winning ever since it got so popular. Hear Drake asks God if the Raptors winning it all are in “God’s Plan.” And how since the debut of “Playoff P” the Thunder have gotten nothing but playoff L’s. Plus Matt Barnes does a 4/20 Reddit AMA and how *wink wink* LeBron James would never throw a teammate under the bus.
Only one team can win the finals and it’s months before free agency. We can’t tell who wins but we can tell you what players will do after they lose. Who’s hanging out on the yacht Rich Paul will buy with all his Ben Simmons endorsement money? Can Magic Johnson really go another 75 days without tampering with Paul George again? Maybe this is the summer Steven Adams finally learns the names of all his brothers and sisters. Of course we all want to know what happens to LeBron James. Take every joke you get and multiply it by ten and that’s how much you know the NBA.
Only the hottest gossip and news for the last week of the regular season. Did Meek Mill’s judge really try to get a shoutout on a remix track? Do NBA assistant coaches gamble on point spreads? Are the Morris twins telepathic? Our million-to-one playoff bets are back and one may involve a courtside Donald Trump bodyslam. Find out by who! We give our five best (and worst) NBA cities and a few theories about Kawhi Leonard. Plus, find out what’s been dubbed a “LiAngelo” in our diss of the week.