EP 181- Tank Tips! How Your Team Can Go From Bad to Worst
Going into the All-Star break the ten worst teams in the NBA had lost 41 games in row combined! This is the last year the teams at the bottom have the most to gain the more they lose. We tell you how those teams can collect the most L’s and give outside the box suggestions on how they keep selling season tickets. Maybe the Kings could try cigarettes at halftime? The Bulls could hire Mike Ditka to coach and change the team’s catering to deep-dish pizza and polish sausage. Mark Cuban’s open about tanking and your team can be too! Follow us @brickhousepod
In the spirit of experimentation and shameless pandering, we attempt to attract new listeners by incorporating relationship advice and dog metaphors into the show. After three nights of games we’re ready to fire up our hottest overreactions to what we saw. Could the Suns be the next NBA dynasty? Is Boban Wilt Chamberlain with free throw making ability? In our latest segment “Shoe News!” we discuss Montrezl Harrell’s plan to release the coolest sneakers of all time as well as the steep price discount on Lonzo’s new Big Baller Brand sneakers. Plus, we do a dramatic reenactment of every Jimmy Butler interview in the past week.
Previews for the top five teams in the NBA fighting to be this year’s runner-up to the Warriors. This episode we ask executive-level questions like: If Danny Ainge had traded four draft picks for Justise Winslow would we still think he’s a good GM? Would Sam Hinkie ever consider a return to the Rockets front office? And what’s Bryan Colangelo up to these days? The Thunder will use this season to find the best fit for Paul George and the Raptors will try to convince Kawhi Toronto’s just like LA, but better. We reveal the “Secret MVP” for each team and talk the failed Jimmy Butler trade and the Suns firing Ryan McDonough in our Diss of the Week.
The Lakers and the Wizards will both be fun to watch this year but for entirely different reasons. Find out who should hire Nikola Jokic as their celebrity endorser and what the rules to a Dwight Howard gameshow would be. Will Tom Thibodeau’s head explode on the sideline this year? Which GM will be the first one fired for not drafting Luka Doncic? We discuss potential plots of Space Jam 2 and predict which Lakers teammates will have the most volatile relationship. Plus the most attractive people to ever rock a unibrow and an extremely stupid quote from Paul Pierce.
These are the teams that are one player away if that player were LeBron James. Coincidentally a few of them come from the whitest cities with NBA teams. Unfortunately none of them have a history of attracting free agents. We preview and answer burning questions about the Jazz, Pacers, Blazers, Grizzlies, Bucks and Spurs. Where will Chandler Parsons be in the next ten years? Is Kris Middleton a max player? Could Lonnie Walker be an all-time funny NBA player? Diss of the week submissions about Kawhi Leonard’s laugh and Brett Kavanaugh’s basketball coaching career.
When Jimmy Butler forces a late off-season trade that means the NBA is back! This historic occasion may be the first time a player has ever actually tried to be traded to the Clippers. After months of searching, the 76ers found their new GM right under their noses. We discuss how the Elton Brand hiring came to be. The dry heave team previews are the teams too good for a top draft pick but not good enough to make the playoffs. Their the NBA’s version of purgatory or, to mix metaphors, a vomit that never comes. Tune in for our season previews of the Clippers, Heat, Pistons, Knicks, Hornets and Magic and stay for the NBA’s scheduled tunnel fight rematch between Chris Paul and Blake Griffin.
Just because these teams have a hard time winning games doesn’t mean they’re not entertaining. We break down the six worst teams in the NBA and tell you their biggest moves of the offseason, how they might surprise us, and what still makes them exciting. In the case of the Sacramento Kings, unintentional comedy counts too. We ask some burning questions like: Which team has the worst starting five? Are the Cavs Klutch Sports contracts completely untradable? What life lessons can young guys learn from a vet like Vince Carter? And will Matt and Bob own Puma basketball shoes before next year’s Finals? Plus Diss of the Week submissions from Ben Simmons and Kobe Bryant.
In this episode we look at NBA MVP odds and compare player’s chances to Oscar favorites and over-priced phone apps. Then we tackle win totals for the the NBA’s superior conference. Will the Rockets really be ten games worse with Carmelo Anthony? Can the Lakers get a top-four seed in the West? And who’s the more hipster team this year; the Jazz or the Nuggets? Bjorn is back to give more of his top picks and, spoiler, it doesn’t look great for Clippers fans. Tweet to Bjorn @bjornallday
Professional gambler Bjorn Peterson breaks down the eastern conference win totals and gives us his pro tips. We talk legalized gambling, and how sports books can ban the best players from wagering. Bjorn shares his experience of getting cut off from making WNBA bets at one Las Vegas casino. Did you know the Miami Heat have the league’s highest payroll at $152 million and their win line is set at only 41.5? We search hard for value in the depleted East so you don’t have to. At the end we share our favorite “To Be Continued” TV episodes from growing up.
NBA players are competitive not only on the court but in our Twitter feeds as well. This episode we honor the most entertaining, funny and petty players from the past season. Nerlens Noel may not have gotten the contract he wanted but he did take advantage of the free media room hot dogs. Find out where all your favorite jokesters fall from JR Smith to Joel Embiid. Fire up your burner account to tell us where we messed up @brickhousepod. Plus Diss of the Week submissions from Matt Barnes, CJ McCollum and Ice Cube.