Brickhouse Ep 168: Brendan Wells on Arthur Fists and Chinese Prison
LeBron can rock the sports world with a single cartoon aardvark fist. Guest Brendan Wells tells us how the LiAngelo Ball shoplifting scandal will affect season two of ‘Ball in the Family.’ Could this all be part of Lavar’s master plan? We make pun-filled headlines for fake future NBA trades. Plus we debate if anything can make Kobe Bryant happy after basketball and whether boy next door Gordon Hayward might actually be a serial killer.
All it takes is one social media follow or unfollow for NBA fans to lose their minds. Speculation runs rampant when a reporter says on a podcast that Karl-Anthony Towns could POSSIBLY be traded. You bet we take the speculation ball and run with it. The Suns and Kings are playing checkers about not drafting Luka Doncic (in a league where everyone else is playing chess). Both teams are saying they want a center when the Suns just hired Luka’s old coach and everyone knows Vlade Divac can’t resist building the first NBA team built entirely of eastern Europeans. Plus Steph Curry’s potty-mouth and the Cavs and Rockets battle to win this week’s ‘Diss of the Week.’
Forget X’s and O’s we’re comparing Mike D’Antoni’s accent versus Steve Kerr’s. Maybe the most important discovery of the playoffs is Clint Capela’s Chinese nickname: “Pancake Emperor”. We prepare listeners for the biggest storylines of the conference finals from Klay Thompson’s unprecedented pay-cut, to the relentless media proliferation of the rebranded Warriors death lineup, the ‘Hamptons 5’. And if you haven’t yet heard the one about Ice Cube, the Big 3, Steve Bannon and a Qatari secret agent you should tune in immediately.
We love the NBA for the drama. The right matchups means more viewers means more money. What would the league be willing to do to make sure the Warriors and Rockets meet in the west finals? Who would they want out east and why? Hear us break down every narrative and every angle. There’s no limit to the made-up joke-stakes on this show. Plus hear our suggestions for the first eight teams knocked out of the playoffs. Thunder fans can now light themselves on fire.
They say the playoffs are the time when teams exploit their opponent’s weaknesses. For us it’s a time to make jokes about those same shortcomings. Blog Boys represent! We rank ever team in the playoffs from 16-1 starting with the already eliminated Blazers. I guess Portland decided they no longer like winning ever since it got so popular. Hear Drake asks God if the Raptors winning it all are in “God’s Plan.” And how since the debut of “Playoff P” the Thunder have gotten nothing but playoff L’s. Plus Matt Barnes does a 4/20 Reddit AMA and how *wink wink* LeBron James would never throw a teammate under the bus.
Only one team can win the finals and it’s months before free agency. We can’t tell who wins but we can tell you what players will do after they lose. Who’s hanging out on the yacht Rich Paul will buy with all his Ben Simmons endorsement money? Can Magic Johnson really go another 75 days without tampering with Paul George again? Maybe this is the summer Steven Adams finally learns the names of all his brothers and sisters. Of course we all want to know what happens to LeBron James. Take every joke you get and multiply it by ten and that’s how much you know the NBA.
Only the hottest gossip and news for the last week of the regular season. Did Meek Mill’s judge really try to get a shoutout on a remix track? Do NBA assistant coaches gamble on point spreads? Are the Morris twins telepathic? Our million-to-one playoff bets are back and one may involve a courtside Donald Trump bodyslam. Find out by who! We give our five best (and worst) NBA cities and a few theories about Kawhi Leonard. Plus, find out what’s been dubbed a “LiAngelo” in our diss of the week.
The NBA playoffs are two weeks away which means NBA playoff previews are just as close. We preview the previews by telling you which media talking points will be used to death with our “cold takes.” We introduce mildly zesty topics of debate with our “lukewarm takes.” Finally, we burn boring preview shows to the ground with our “Nashville hot takes.” Plus two fake movie trailers for the Phoenix Suns offseason and early reviews of Kyrie’s film “Uncle Drew”. Find out LiAngelo Ball’s chances to make the NBA and all the non-tampering ways Magic Johnson plans to land LeBron James.
Bob’s dad, Tom Johnson, is back to talk all things Rockets. Would you want Chris Paul as a teammate? What’s the best restaurant by Rockets owner Tilman Fertitta? How are the Rockets announcers like the twelve-step program? Also, Jordan Clarkson and his beliefs on dinosaurs and whether or not NBA players are getting dumber. Lonzo Ball reveals little known and extremely rare pregnancy complications. Plus, Bob’s dad shares his suggestion for the NBA coaches new mental health guru before shouting out his neighborhood drinking buddies.
We’re joined by groom and best man Stephen and Nick in town for a weekend-long bachelor party. Topics range from soup-throwing to NBA players who can drink the most. Stephen recasts The Hangover movie using only Golden State Warriors and Matt reveals little known Bosnian marriage laws. We play “Two Truths and a Lie” where our guests have to guess which ridiculous story we made up about known partiers JR Smith and James Harden. Plus, the new ‘Bachelor’ parody starring Robin Lopez!